I love the quote,"Children are messengers to us from a world we once deeply knew but we have long since forgotten," by Alice Miller. I know for a fact that I have learned more from my children than they have learned from me. I call them my gurus! I am amazed, sometimes on a daily basis, the things I learn from my kids. I still believe 100% that children are here to teach us, not the other way around. We have been conditioned to believe that we have to teach them, but I know that is just not true.
Children can help us to learn about ourselves and about life, if we choose to listen. When we are able to stay out of the mind set of having to have power over children, we can learn and grow. When we open ourselves up to their unconditional acceptance and love, we will grow leaps and bounds. When trust is present in the relationship as our children grow, the relationship stays authentic, and we learn from each other. If trust is present, children will keep sharing their views and observations and insight with us. If the trust is broken, children learn to hide who they really are, and the authentic relationship is no longer.
My children have taught me to love myself more. They have taught me to trust my instincts. They have taught me to forgive. They have taught me not to judge others by the way they look or even how they act. They have taught me to take more risks. They have taught me to have compassion for myself and others. They have taught me that our world is not such a bad place after all. They see things that I never would have seen had I stayed in my bubble of thinking that I am supposed to be showing them the way things work.
I know that my children came to me because I needed them. I needed them to show me ways that I can contribute to the world to make it a better place for everyone. When we choose to connect on a deep level with our children, we grow in ways that we never could have imagined. When we keep our hearts open to that bond of love with our child, we are capable of healing in ways that we didn't even know we needed to. When we choose authenticity over, "what people may think", we deepen the bond of trust with our children.
I often wonder if children are here to wake us up from this illusion that we live in. The illusion that makes us feel separate from others. The illusion that we are not all connected. When I am able to put my fear aside, I see with great clarity that my children are here to make my journey more joyful. Until children get socialized and conditioned, they are silly on an hourly basis, giggling and laughing their way through the day. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have this much joy in your life? Of course there are responsibilities, etc., as we become adults, but imagine having this trait while dealing with issues and problems in your life. Coming from a place of joy makes things more bearable.
When the trust gets broken by way of force and coercion, our gurus may disappear. When they are forced to do things that go against what their inner voice is telling them is best, they start to distrust their own inner voice. They start to distrust the voice within them in order to "function" in our society.
And at some point, they turn into adults that need to find that inner voice again. And, the circle begins again. Unless, we choose a different route. If we choose to keep the channel open, and we choose to listen and learn from our children in a respectful and authentic way, will have an incredible journey with our gurus.
Visit me on my web site, www.benurtured.com. I write about my healing journey through depression, learning self love, mindful living, unschooling, meditation, and other ways of healing.